Kolaches, Three Ways

Outside of Texas, every time I mention the word "kolache", no one knows what I'm talking about. They act as if I've just sprouted two extra heads..."kowh-lahch-ee?", they ask. This must change! let's make kolaches a nationwide phenomenon, yes?

There's a town between Dallas and Austin called West, Texas. Those of you outside of Texas probably know it best from the fertilizer plant explosion last year, though I doubt the residents of West are very keen on having their claim to fame be a tragic accident. I know them best as the home of Czech Stop, the place from which I get a dozen kolaches when passing through on I-35. Their kolaches are so deliciously tender and yeasty. The best. They also hold Westfest every year which is a Czech polka festival that I had the pleasure of attending my junior year of college when me and a few friends drove in from Austin for a day of merriment, polka, and Elvis impersonations. Anywhoo, the point is that West (besides being an awesome town), has a huge Czech population, and they are the ones who brought kolaches from across the Atlantic.

Mushroom Agnolotti

I have this vicious love/hate relationship with homemade filled pastas. Sometimes they are the best things I've ever made. Heavenly, ethereal, delicious pockets of amazingness. Sometimes the dough tears, it sticks, it bursts while boiling, and I end up with a measly 6 raviolis salvaged from the entire batch I made; the rest sadly goes into the trash. There is no in between. Days when I make filled pastas always result in either elation or fury.

Cinnamon Sugar Challah

There are two things that terrify me in the kitchen. Not just regular terrify, but more like throw-a-temper-tantrum-like-a-little-girl-then-have-nightmares-about-it terrified.

The first is cheese sauce, as in mac & cheese cheese sauce. Depending on what cheese I buy, how I grate it, the time of day, and the alignment of the planets, I have a 75/25 chance that the sauce will separate into a curdly mess. Those are not good odds. I've tried bechamel based sauces, custard sauces, they have all broken. And sometimes, I make a wildly successful, silky smooth cheese sauce only for it to break while baking in the oven. Persnickety cheese, you are my worst enemy.

The second is any type of yeasted bread. I'm just not good at making them. Though unlike cheese sauce, with bread I am getting better. I can see where I'm going wrong at times. After loaf upon loaf of dense bricks that never rose correctly, I can tell when the water is too hot and will kill the yeast, I can tell when there's too much flour, and I think I'm realizing now that I should store yeast in the freezer. It still terrifies me though. We have a fickle relationship.

Buttermilk Cheddar Biscuits

Quick! What is the best gloriously gluten-y breakfast item you can think of?

English muffins? Bagels? Scones? Toast? Nope, nope, nope, and nope. The correct answer is biscuits. Especially buttermilk biscuits and especially if it contains cheese. I guess it's okay if you disagree, everyone has their own opinions, but continue reading and maybe I can change your mind.